It's Such a Perfect Day.

So I have finally gotten around to finishing Eat Pray Love tonight, and I must say that it had exceeded my expectations. My hopes of being enlightened with stories of self-love and happiness were fulfilled. And this has conveniently coincided in my life at a perfect time.

During the school year, I had been a very skeptical personality. Skeptical about other people, life, my ambitions, love, the works. And, as other would say, I was rather a pessimist, despite me arguing back that I was merely a realist. But now, I can say that I'm a bigger realist than ever, for now I have a newfound hope that grew inside me during these first few weeks of summer. It took a while at first for me to figure it out, but after some time alone to reflect what I want and what I have, I can truly say that I am a very happy camper.

In the first few days of summer, I thought I had chances of something more. Something new. Something unexplored by the cold heart that was me of which I really was curious to experience.This something, although it was tempting in its potential at happiness, had a catch. And the catch was undeniable heartache in the end. Although I did have hopes, my hopes were diminished after pulling my head down from the clouds, and realizing the truth in the situation. My first my emotions were of desperation. I felt a longing to be elsewhere, somewhere not alone in the mess that was my life. Then anger rushed through me, because I even bothered pursuing this situation. Why hadn't I just sat still, kept my mouth shut and let things go by, just as it had done umpteen times in my life? It wasn't until I came home from California that I realized, you know what? maybe this isn't so bad. Maybe there's something underneath it all...

And that was when I truly understood that there indeed is a silver lining to everything. One looking from outside at my debacle might see me heartbroken, but as a matter of fact, my heart has not beaten with more umph and liveliness than ever before. The silver lining to this was that I finally realized how much my life already had. My life was full of passions and loves that I have full adoration for, whether they be my ambitions or the people in my life. I had a huge love for so many things, as well as a thirst to find more journeys to embark on. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how many things I had going for in my life, things that other people may not be able to claim for themselves. My love and knowledge of eclectic music from all over the world, fashion, food, football, and personal ambition are only the first few. I thought, wow, I know a hell of a lot of random stuff....but that's good! Right? means I'm well-rounded, and perhaps interesting... And these things that I already love, well, I can enjoy them already in my life right now. Although I might not have a heavenly pair of Christian Louboutins or have been to any World Cup match, I feel like the love I have captured though my recent years have been enough to get me through, and perhaps enough to persuade me to venture on and obtain even more parts of it to love. With my ambition, I will one day have those red-soled pumps, and with enough determination and connections, I will one day get to see a World Cup final of epic proportions. That being said, perhaps my love of many things is not my mind telling me what I can't have, but rather a sign that there's so much ahead of me to explore further.

I know my rant about the things I love might sound a little 'Julie-Andrews-in-The-Sound-of-Music', but it makes me realize, why the fuck should I care for something as silly as a possible frilly teenage soul connection, when I have so many things to forward to in life? I should just enjoy what I already have, because I have so much to love and adore and spend my time with. Reading many books, learning about other cultures and exotic things. Those would make me way more content than beating around the bush with my feelings. Furthermore, I have this unbelievable relief and joy that I'm single. Usually I would look at my loneliness as a sign of melancholy reflecting the future, but now, I don't think I could ever be bothered with being single. I personally think it's the greatest way to be when one is maturing and becoming wiser. I should learn about what I want and need on my own, so that extra baggage does not sway me towards a different path than I should follow. As a matter of fact, I suppose it makes sense, for I have a terrible fear of commitments. Even the thought of marriage scares me. So why would I want a relationship now, when I have no want of it in the future? I have the things and people in my life already right now to love, and frankly, I think that's all I need.

Which leads me to saying that although I am happy with my life at the moment, there is absolutely no harm in having a thirst for more. And by more, I mean breaking out of my shell and exploring what the world around me, as well as across the seas, has to offer. I have learned to never let go of little opportunities, because I can surely find a little pleasure in it, and learn something new about myself as well. I realize now what I really want, and I am willing to work for it and am not hesitant to dream about my numerous opportunities waiting for me.

Not even a month into a summer of self-exploration, and what have I learned already? That I can make my own happiness with the little pleasures and wonders that I already have, and that this is only the beginning of what will be an adventurous life, and that I should not be afraid to call the shots for some important life situations. After all, it is my life, I should decide how to get what would fulfill my happiness. Even if I don't succeed, at least I know I have loves that perhaps surpass that want and that are more worth living for. These days, I wake up to the sound of beautiful music and thoughts of potential accomplishments during the day. I feel blissful for no apparent reason. Sure, things are probably the same as it has ever been, yet I can't help but feel so happy and 'in my place' (to quote my favorite band). I have never felt this way before in my life, and although it was kind of scaring me, I quite enjoy my independence and happiness.

What's in store for me for the rest of the summer? Well, if I got this far in just a couple of weeks, imagine how I'd be by September...

Independence Day '08

Hello everyone! I hope you Americans had a splendid fourth of July.

I spent my Independence Day at my parents's friends's house, arriving for lunch. I felt awfully guilty for downing so much food!! All that fillet mignon and shrimp cocktail put me in a bellyful daze. After some scrumptious Italian cake, we all spontaneously decided to go to the nearby orchards and go fruit picking! Although usually I would have passed, for the thought of picking food under the summer heat seemed painstaking, but lately I've been in such high spirits, and I got very excited at the baked concoctions I could make with the fruit I picked. My family and I picked 5 pounds of blueberries, all a beautiful indigo hue and luscious. Sadly, there were slim pickings for the raspberries (no pun intended), so we did not pick any. And it was such ashame, because I was looking forward to those little berries. In fact, they are one of the my favorite fruits ever, surpassing strawberries! If anything, I think that raspberries are strawberrie's classier, more demure cousin. And lastly, we went down to the peach trees and picked some plump white peaches. I was starting to break a few beads of sweat when we were finally finished and ready to get back to the house. After resting for some time we had dinner, and although it was an American holiday yesterday, we had a simple rustic French dinner of salamis, prosciutto, and brie on warm baguettes. Afterwards I had my favorite dessert: fruit tart. Two servings of it to be exact. I'm telling you all, I don't think I've eaten this much in awhile. Yet I did not feel so gross, for everything was delectable and pleasureful. Even the three pound difference on the scales when I came home didn't seem to faze me.

Here are pictures of my pickings:

BYOB

[[photo from bringyourownbag.ca]]

No, I'm not talking about bringing your own bottle of Chardonnay from the cellar, but rather bringing your own bag to the grocery store. I could write a blog about how 'green' America is trying to become these days, but I don't think I can find the heart to talk about ethanol pumping.

Anyways, upon reading about Chelsea's journey through Rotterdam, I was quite impressed with their 'stricter' enforcement of bring-your-own-bag. All the eco-hipsters here have been trying to revive this, but people still ask for the paper or plastic. I think it's quite a nice way to bring home your groceries, and in the end it will save everyone money and resources.

Maybe I won't buy those trendy $30 tote bags, but perhaps I'll get a nice durable one from the craft store, of which I can decorate on my own. I highly doubt my family would jump on the bandwagon, but I suppose I can try. If not, I can always wait until I'm slightly more independent and able to buy my own chips and nutella galore. :]

Proust was onto something...

...when he wrote about these little tea cakes. Madeleines are an absolutely simple, yet extremely satisfying biscuit that is reminiscent of little shell cookies, but they do in fact have the texture of cakes. It's hard not to love their buttery melt-in-your mouth texture. It had been quite a while since I had baked something (that was NOT a cupcake), so I figured a nice easy batch of madeleines would be quite nice to munch on while watching the Euro 2008 final. I even made them extra special, adding some lemon juice and zest for a light citrusy tang. Making sure that I generously greased the pans, the tea cakes came out quite easily, although I did have to bake it for longer than instructed. I know they are not crepes or even Italian (It's actually from northeast France), but they will suffice for now. Baby steps, no?


“She sent out for one of those short, plump little cakes called petites madeleines, which look as though they had been moulded in the fluted scallop of a pilgrim's shell. And soon, mechanically, weary after a dull day with the prospect of a depressing morrow, I raised to my lips a spoonful of the tea in which I had soaked a morsel of the cake. No sooner had the warm liquid, and the crumbs with it, touched my palate than a shudder ran through my whole body, and I stopped, intent upon the extraordinary changes that were taking place…at once the vicissitudes of life had become indifferent to me, its disasters innocuous, its brevity illusory…”
-- Rememberance of Things Past, Volume 1: Swann's Way.

They don't look that great, but they will certainly aid me get through my football withdrawal (which I'll have to endure for another month and a half).

¡VIVA ESPAÑA!

[[photo from Tiscali]]

After 44 persevering years, Spain finally did it. Curse after curse was broken in this year's Euro Cup, and España brilliantly shined against the other European nations competing for the prestigious prize.

Despite having many skeptics doubting their success this year, they have put all the haters to shame in winning Euro 2008!

At first I was extremely worried. Sure, they did very well in the group stages, winning all the matches. But I didn't want a repeat of tournament's past, with only progressing til the quarterfinals. And so, after a horribly frustrating match against Italy, my little Spanish fires won on PKs (And those amazing saves by Iker Casillas as well!!!). Then in the semis, I did have the same optimism as I did in the group stages, for Russia had just KO Holland, another strong team, in the quarterfinals. But alas, in Russia and Spain's second meet-up there was another 3-point margin to the Spaniards.

And here we are, Spain the new European champions, beating three-time champions Germany! After years and years of not being good enough, their actual talent and sportsmanship reigned supreme. Never have I seen a national team with such good hearts and wonderful teamwork. No one ever fought for the glory of scoring a European goal, all they fought for was the possession of the ball against the opponents. With an amazing midfield consisting of Fabregas and Senna, opportunities for goals were immense. Not to mention, David Villa won the Golden Boot of the tournament, scoring the most goals of Euro 2008, with four fantastic goals including a hattrick and a late match winner in the group stages.

So where does La Furia Roja go from here? Well, I suppose they'll continue their victory celebration sans clothing (Iker in undies, yes please!!) But this only gets me even more excited to see their talent and determination in the next World Cup in 2010. South Africa, here they come! La Selección is ready to take the rest of the world on!

A time of self-exploration...

Every summer, I give myself goals to achieve that pertain to dreams that I've always wanted to fulfill. I would vow that everyday I would do something worthwhile and productive, contribute to society. And every summer, it's the same old failure. Because of sheer laziness, I would always end up on the couch killing my time, as well as my brain cells, watching the telly. The summer would pass by, with me not feeling very fulfilled whatsoever.

So as I did the previous summers, I set myself some goals. Along with having different goals, I have a different approach to achieving these goals. Rather than just waiting for the time to give me the opportunities, I am going to tackle these goals head on. One of the lessons that I've learned this year is that I can't ever wait for things to happen; I need to make things happen myself and take things into my own hands. After all, it's my life, I should be able to control what I want in it. And so, with these goals in mind, I will grab my opportunities by the horns and tell them who's boss.

Now that I am back from my time in California, summer has officially started for me. The empty feeling of time and heart lingering within, and having very little, if not nothing, to do. And so I wondered, what are some self-fulfilling achievements I can actually reach, while simultaneously learn about life and myself? Sure, all this sounds mighty philosophical, almost beyond weird for a sixteen year-old to ponder. But I figure my life is short, and if I am going to make the most of it, I might as well start right now. After some time of contemplation during my vacation in California and some quirky incidences in my life, I have thought of several goals to set for myself. And with much luck and determination, I hope to achieve them by the end of the summer (...as well as my AP English homework).

Goal of Self-exploration #1: Learn French

[[photo from ANU]]

After almost three years, I still get nags from my relatives saying "how come you didn't take French? After all, most of my family speaks French, and here I am, the oddball who took Spanish instead. And though I really do love the romanticisms of the rolling Rs of Spanish, I have always had a passion for learning about new cultures, and it's no different for languages. Surely French wouldn't be too difficult with my previous knowledge of Spanish, and it would be quite useful when I spend time in Paris during the Holidays. With the drive to learn, all I need to do now is whip out those How-To books my mom has stashed in the garage...

Goal of Self-Exploration #2: Read a book a week

[[photo from Amazon]]

Sounds quite ambitious, huh? I love to read books, and with the work overload this year, I sadly did not have the time to read as much as I wished to. But with all my horrid classes done and over with, I finally have time to indulge in some fantastic novels. With a long grocery-list of books I want, I'm sure I won't have any trouble finding some new stories to delve into. I am currently reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love. And I must say, it's quite apropos with my time of self-exploration at the moment. I highly recommend it, and I personally think everyone can take a lesson or two on life from this memoir.

Goal of Self-exploration #3: Crepes galore!

[[photo from flickr]]

Ah, the delectable French dessert. I absolutely love these paper-thin pancakes, and I am determined to perfect the Parisian crepe this summer. Personal preference leads me to make batches and batches filled with ripe strawberries and whipping cream, as well as slathered with lots of Nutella.

Goal of Self-Exploration #4: Italian Cuisine

[[photo from Pesto's Italian]]

Surprised that it's another food-related goal? You shouldn't be, if you truly know me. I'm the biggest foodie a sixteen year-old could ever be. And this summer, I will (attempt to) hone my Italian cuisine skills. I'll be the aficionado of antipasto, the connoisseur of cannolis, the spaghetti specialist, the pizza perfectionist. There is nothing more pleasurable than the taste and goodness of great Italian food, and I am willing to double my weight over the next couple months as long as I can finally make a substantial Puttanesca sauce.

Goal of Self-exploration #5: Euro History

[[photo from Britannica]]

Despite loathing AP US history, I am very intrigued by early European history. Perhaps it's the opulence and enlightenment of the time period, but I can't help but yearn for more knowledge of King Henry VIII and his six wives. Although I already know briefly about each marriage (and in chronological order!), I feel like I could use more learning in that sphere. Also, I am interested in the extravagant fluff that was Marie Antoinette. Sure, the Sofia Coppola movie was anti-climatic, but who can resist the history behind those pastries? Hopefully by the end of the summer I will know the entire significance of the Magna Carta.

Goal of Self-exploration #6: Formula 1

[[photo from Wikipedia]]

At first, I was skeptical about the idea of Formula 1. Isn't it the same as NASCAR? But alas, both are quite different, and after conversing over this with a good friend (who is a huge fan), I am curious and willing to give this a try. Contrasting NASCAR, Formula 1 seems more on the classier side and with much more speed. With the British Grand Prix next week, I will surely give this sport a whirl and will hopefully enjoy this spectacle! (Props to Grace!)

Goal of Self-exploration #7: BLOG!

How else would I learn about myself if I don't know anything about myself first?! Despite the three-month hiatus, I'm back and ready to blog once again. And hopefully through reading my thoughts and ponderings, I will know more about myself and how I should handle my life conundrums.

You might think, What the fuck does all this have to do with self-exploration?! Well, simpletons, I figure that with all these curiosities and intrigues pushing me to experience further knowledge, I might just learn of new passions and what I truly want in life. Sure, gelato might not make my heart love more (...or could it?), but perhaps I will learn of my true potential and what I'm capable of. And hopefully, with new skills and knowledge, I can venture out more into the depths of the world and love it even more.

It's been a long time coming...

[[Photo from Emilie Wood]]

Ah, summer had finally blessed my little heart. And although I can finally let out a sigh of relief, I really do miss everyone from school, even if they did annoy me at times. And being across the country makes me long to see everyone even more. But I'm not complaining, California has been wonderful, and it's about time I get some time to relax!

I know it has been quite some time since I last updated, and I am truly sorry. Ever since the fourth marking period began, my mind has been at a standstill. With football season, TV season, fashion weeks, and school (nearly) over, the passion that ran through my veins during the year ran dry, and I had little to indulge. Despite this, I have always believed in a silver lining, and though my usual loves were done for the time being, I had other things to keep my emotions raging. So don't be afraid, even though I was lacking things to blog about, my heart is still beating as usual, if not a little harder.

Here's to a great summer, and I am determined to keep this blog alive!!